Teachers Are From Mars, Pupils Are From Venus : School Joke Book: Alien School Jokes

Teachers Are From Mars, Pupils Are From Venus : School Joke Book
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Writing Comedy 4th edition is a practical manual for the beginner, as well as for the more experienced writer, in developing the skills to be a successful professional comedy writer. This new edition includes useful advice on how to develop your comedy in an increasingly digital age. Writing Comedy 4th edition is a practical manual for the beginner, as well as for the more This practical step-by-step guide provides an ideal introduction to the exciting and fun world of cartooning, covering a wide range of cartoons, caricatures, comic strips and manga.

This practical step-by-step guide provides an ideal introduction to the exciting and fun world of Spanning the s to the 70s, the plays capture the rebellious mood of a post-war generation growing up to a backdrop of James Dean, Elvis, sharp-suited glamour, hope and despair. John Byrne takes the slab room he worked in and makes it pure theatre: the scams, the dreams, the aloof but gorgeous girl, the despair of life back home, the obligatory Spanning the s to the 70s, the plays capture the rebellious mood of a post-war generation Toggle navigation.

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Last 30 days Last 90 days All time. English Only. All PDF Epub. Penguin Publishing Group Add to Cart Add to Cart. Add to Wishlist Add to Wishlist. But Burge carried on. She received her degree in , and in her research findings were published in the Home Economics Research Journal. Among her findings were that respondents who named the mother as their child's primary caretaker held more traditional child-rearing sex-role attitudes than respondents who named both parents.

In addition, those respondents who held more traditional child-rearing sex-role attitudes also held more traditional social issue sex-role attitudes, and fathers were more conventional than mothers with respect to the issue of whether or not boys and girls should be raised differently.

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Burge always granted permission, but had redirected her research focus to gender equity in education. She had moved on in her career, serving on the faculty in Virginia Tech's College of Human Resources and Education from to when she became director of the Women's Center. But a recent request from a researcher at New Mexico State University sparked her interest. The researcher, Betsy Cahill, had used Burge's survey with some modifications and additions to conduct research on early childhood teachers' attitudes toward gender roles. After the results of Cahill's research were completed and published in The Journal of Sex Roles in , some unexpected events occurred.

The Educational Testing Service, a national resource that makes research instruments more widely available to other researchers, requested permission to use the Burge and Cahill survey tools in its upcoming Test Collection, a reference publication for future researchers. And the request from the Educational Testing Service gave an additional sanction to my survey. It's amazing to me that the same type of social questions are still valid after 20 years.

Cahill found that many of the findings from Burge's research were still very much the same. For example, teachers who espoused traditional gender role beliefs for adults also did for children. For those who were more accepting of cross-gender role behaviors and aspirations, they were more accepting of these behaviors from girls than boys. Enter Sharon Snow, newly hired assistant director of the Women's Center at Virginia Tech, and the third coincidence regarding Burge's survey tool.

As part of a survey research class Snow took while working on her graduate degree at Texas Woman's University, she cited Burge's study in her literature review. It's not something that just happens naturally. There is an excellent online article that I printed out 13 years ago,by Jungian psychologist Dr. Gary S. On his site it now only has part of this article and it says you have to register to read the full article.

I emailed Dr. Toub years ago and he wrote me back several nice emails,in one he said he really liked my letter,and that it was filled to the brim with excellent points and references. In this article he talks about what parts of Jungian thought he finds useful and what he finds problematic. The first thing he says he finds useful is, In the course of Jungian analysis, he often assists female clients to discover traditionally,masculine qualities in their psyche and that he likewise frequently assist male clients to recognize traditionally feminine qualities in their psyche.

He says this process frees each gender from the straight-jacket of stereotyped sex roles and expands his clients identities. He then said that the process also mirrors and furthers the breakdown of male-female polarization in our culture,and the cultural shifts towards androgyny.

He also says that most importantly, his practice of Jungian analysis places the greatest emphasis on facilitating his clients individuation process. He says this means that he tries to assist clients,male or female,to search for their authentic self-definition,distinct from society's gender expectations. He also says that many Jungian definitions of masculine and feminine are narrow,outdated and sexist.

He also says that he has found that generalizing about what is masculine and what is feminine is dangerous,often perpetuating gender myths that are discriminatory and damaging. He says while there is some research supporting biological roots to personality differences,the majority of studies suggest that much of what is considered masculine or feminine is culture determined. He also says that viewing masculine and feminine as complementary opposites,while useful at times,is problematic.

He then says as his gay,lesbian, and transsexual clients have taught him,gender is more accurately viewed as encompassing a wide-ranging continuum. He then says that likewise,the more people he sees in his practice,the more he is impressed at the great diversity in human nature. He says he has seen men of all types and varieties,and women of all kinds. He then says,he is hard-pressed to come up with very many generalizations based on gender.

He says he knows that there are some statistical patterns,but how useful are they when he works with individuals and in a rapidly changing society? He says if each person is unique,no statistical norm or average will be able to define who my client is. He then says,from a psychological perspective,men and women are not, in fact,opposite. He says his clinical experience is that they are much more psychologically alike than different,and the differences that exist are not necessarily opposing.

Therapist Kristen Martinez also debunks and rightfully criticizes this Mars and Venus myth! The co-authors of that December study from University of Penn making claims that the sexes brains are ''hard wired'' differently'',are the husband and wife team,the Gurs who are total biological determinists who have been making these types of claims about sex differences in the brain since the mid 's.

I heard them back then on a NPR radio show and in was turning the TV channel's and I saw a young woman lying under a brain scan and I thought that she had a brain tumor. Then I saw the Gurs making these types of claims about sex differences in the brain. So I called up the station and I complained to one of the young male producers of the station that I was sick and tired of these gender myths being promoted in the media,and that I have a lot of great strong information that the sexes are more alike than different and that they are born biologically more alike than different with very few differences but are still perceived and treated systematically very differently from the moment of birth on by parents and other care givers.

And he said,I know that there are a lot of different views out there about men and women today,but personally I tend to agree with you. Biologically the sexes are more alike than different too! As I said comedian Elaine Boosler said in the 's,I'm only a person trapped in a woman's body. Feminists such as Robin Morgan,Janice Raymond,Gloria Steinem,Germain'e Greer Sheila Jeffreys etc who have rightfully pointed this fact out,are not afraid of transsexuals or prejudiced against them,the issue is what I said it is.

She was a heterosexual man who was married and had a daughter,then had a sex change and became a lesbian woman and then decided not to idenify as a man or a woman. I heard Kate interviewed in on a local NPR show and she totally debunks gender myths,and rejects the "feminine" and "masculine" categories as the mostly socially constructed categories that they really are. And as cultural anthropologist Roger Lancaster wrote in his introduction, in his very good book,The Trouble With Nature sex In Science when he's talking about how scientists constantly search for a ''gay brain'',a ''gay gene'' or ''gay intergovernmental'' patterns.

Roger came out as a gay man in college. He then says One can hardly understate the naive literalism of present-day science on these matters: Scientists still look for the supposed anatomical attributes of the opposite sex embedded somewhere in the inverts brain or nervous system. He then says and this notion now enjoys a second,third,and even fourth life in political discourses. He then says it is by appeal to such conceits that Aaron Hans,a Washington,D. Roger then says,Far,far be it from me to cast doubt on anyone's sense of discomfort with the ascribed gender roles.

Nor would I question anyone's sense that sexual identity is a deeply seated aspect of who they are.

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The photograph that accompanies Han's interview shows a somewhat robust girl. Is this to say that real girls are necessarily delicate and real boys athletic? He then says If so,virtually all of my nieces are ''really'' boys,since not a one of them is delicate or un presupposing Roger then says,There is indeed something compelling about such intensely felt and oft- involved experiences-''I knew I was gay all along''; ''I felt like a girl'' - but that compulsion belongs to the realm of outer culture,not nature. That is, if ''inappropriate'' acts,feelings,body types,or desires seem to throw us into the bodies or minds other genders,it is because acts,feelings,and so on are associated with gender by dint of the same all-enveloping cultural logic that gives us pink blankets or caps,or crib cards,I.

He then says,when we diverge one way or another from those totalizing associations,we feel-we really feel;in the depths of our being-''different''. Therein lies the basis for an existential opposition to the established order of gendered associations. Roger then says But therein also lies the perpetual trap: Every essentialist claim about the ''nature'' of same sex desire in turn refers to and reinforces suppositions about the ''nature'' of ''real'' men and women from whom the invert differs , about the ''naturalness'' of their mutual attraction demonstrated nowhere so much as in the inverts inversion ,about the scope of their acts,feelings,body types,and so on again, marked off by the deviation of the deviant.

Roger then says,In a twist as ironic as the winding of a double helix that goes first this way,then that,the search for gay identify gradually finds it's closure in the normalcy of the norm as a natural law. In the end,I am not convinced of the basic suppositions here. I doubt that most men are unfamiliar with the sentiment given poetic form by Pablo Neruda:''It happens that I became tired of being a man. Roger also says that the way the media reported the David Reimer case was very gender stereotyped and and biological deterministc.

He also said that they raised him as a girl too late. Interview with long time feminist Letty Cottin Pogrebin about her teaching and erasing her two twin daughters and her son with non-sexist non-gender roles and gender stereotypes. Feminist Letty Cottin Pogrebin's son didn't reject playing with dolls and tea sets, just as her identical twin daughters didn't reject the non-gender stereotyped toys and behaviors she encouraged them to have. And her son didn't grow up gay or transgendered he's married and I think has children,but he didn't grow up to be a macho football player either,as Letty said he's a chef and loves to cook.

And then these artificial gender differences continue to reinforce gender inequalities,male dominance and men's violence against women,children and even each other. Gary Wood. He too shows plenty of great important research studies done over decades by many different psychologists that finds small average sex differences,and the sexes are much more similar than different. He also thoroughly demonstrates that gender roles,gender myths and gender stereotypes which are mostly socially and culturally constructed,harm both sexes because they are very liming,cause conflicts and misunderstands between women and men,and only allow each of them to become half of a person which can cause mental and physical conditions and diseases.

John Lennon is a great example of people can change and are not fixed to be a certain way as a man or a woman. Definitions of "masculine" and "feminine" differ across time periods,and in different societies. John Lennon is a great example of how feminism changing limited artificial gender definitions and roles,changed him for the much better. When John was a young guy,he was often drunk getting into fist fights with men,hitting women,and womanizing including cheating on his girlfriends and then his first wife Cynthia.

Of course Paul,George and Ringo did the same with all of the groupies all 4 of them had while touring from I hadn't watched these Mike Douglas shows in years until December when it was the 30th anniversary of John's tragic crazy murder. Out of the 5 Mike Douglas shows that John and Yoko co-hosted for a week that was taped in January and aired in February,a young criminal lawyer Rena Uviller she went on to become a Supreme Court Judge who worked with juveniles, and she,Mike Douglas,John and Yoko were discussing the then very recent women's liberation movement.

George Carlin was on too. Rena said,she agrees with Yoko,that the idea of Women's lib is to liberate all of us,and she said ,I mean we could talk hours on the way men really suffer under the sex role definitions. Yoko agreed with what she said too. Rena said that men don't really realize they have only to gain from Women's Lib,and that she thinks that maybe with a little more propaganda we can convince them. John then said,yeah there is a lot to gain from it,just the fact that you can relax and not have to play that male role,he said we can do that,and he said that I can be weak, but notice how then in a male dominated gender divided,gender stereotyped,sexist society,and even unfortunately still now in a lot of ways,the "female" role was defined as the weak one,and the male role as the strong one I don't have to protect her all the time and play you know that super hero,I don't have to play that,she allows me to be weak sometimes and for me to cry,and for her to be the strong one,and for me to be the weak one.

Rena then said,I think in some funny way,I think girls even as children,have a greater lattitude because a little girl can be sort of frilly and feminine or she can be a tomboy and it's acceptable,but a little boy if he's not tossing that football,there's a lot of pressure on him.

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John said,there's a lot of pressure,not to show emotion,and he said that there was a lot of pressure on me not to be an artist,to be a chemist and he said he discussed this on another Mike Douglas episode. Rena said that unfortunately some of the leaders in the Women's Liberation movement fall victim to being spokesmen,for Women's Lib, and yet at least in public personality they seem to really have a certain amount of contempt for the hair curled housewife and there is a kind of sneering contempt,and she said I think it's a measure of their own lack of liberation.

And Yoko said it's snobbery,and Rena said yeah,they really don't like other women,but I'm sympathetic,and Mike Douglas then said a sexist woman-hating statement,saying,well women don't like other women period. Rena said,no see that's very unliberated and Yoko said, in response to what Mike Douglas said,that's not true,that's not true.

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And John said,you see they are brought up to compete with men. Yoko said that even though in Japan they say they don't have much of a woman problem and women already had some liberation,there is still a long way to go that she really agrees with Rena that so many female liberation movement people basically hate women,and we have to first start to understand women and love them whether they are housewives or not,and she said that snobbery is very bad and we have to somehow find out a way to co-existing with men,and she asked Rena don't you think so and she said most definitely.

George Carlin said,that actually many successful women are acting out male roles just like a lot of blacks think they escaped are acting out white roles. John also said that he thinks that women have to try twice as hard as to make it as men,and he said you know they have to be on their toes much more than a man. On another Mike Douglas episode from the same week,former actress and acclaimed film maker Barbara Loden was on and Yoko had requested her as a guest. John asked her ,Did you have any problems working with the men,you know like giving them instructions and things like that and Barbara said,I did, but I think it was because I was afraid that they would not accept what I said,and I wasn't quite that authoritative in my own self.

John said it's certainly a brave thing to do,and Yoko said it is. Mike Douglas asked Yoko if John's attitude had changed much towards her since The Female Liberation Movement,and at first Yoko says John's attitude from the beginning was the same,and that they met on that level. John then says,twice, I was a male chauvinist and Yoko says,yes he was a male chauvinist but,and then John says,Can I say how you taught me,and Yoko says yes. John then said,it's a very simple thing maybe it's fetch that or do that ,and I started thinking if I said that to them,they'd say come on get it yourself,and if you put your wife or your girl friend in the position of your best friend,and say now would I say that to him,then you know when you're treading on some delicate feelings.

Mike Douglas said years later that after this week of John and Yoko co-hosting his show,many young people who had never watched his show before, and his main audience was middle America and people older than their 20's and even mostly their 30's told him they loved the show,and that it was great and his ratings went up high for those shows.

Even if John didn't always live up to his feminist ideals and beliefs in his personal life, although he did with Yoko because of her and this why and how he emotionally evolved into a caring,nurturing,house husband and father to Yoko and Sean ,just the fact that he spoke out as a man in support of the feminist movement on a popular TV show back in early when most of the sexist male dominated woman-hating society looked down at it and considered it crazy which in some ways it's still unfortunately wrongly misunderstood and it's really the male dominated,sexist,woman-hating society that has always been so wrong and crazy!

He also said what is this BS men are this way, women are that way,we're all human. And he said that men are trained to be like they are in the army,and that it's more like that in England but he knows it's this way over here too,he said that they are taught as boys and men don't react,don't feel,don't cry,and he said he thinks that's what screwed us all up and that he thinks it's time for a change.

John Byrne

In his September Newsweek interview the interviewer said to John aren't you the guy who said in that women should be obscene and not heard,and John said yes and I'm thankful to Yoko for the feminist education. Mike Douglas also said to John and Yoko,You're both so different,you had such different childhoods. John said,it's incredible isn't it? Yoko said,Yes! Mike asked,What do you think has attracted you to each other? Yoko said,We're very similar.

John then said,She came from a Japanese upper-middle class family. Her parents were bankers and all that jazz,very straight. He said they were trying to get her off with an ambassador when she was You know,now is the time you marry the ambassador and we get all settled. I come from a an upper-working class family in Liverpool,the other end of the world. John then said,we met but our minds are so similar,our ideas are so similar. It was incredible that we could be so alike from different enviornments,and I don't know what it is,but we're very similar in our heads.

And we look alike too! Mike also asked John about his painful childhood,and how his father left him when he was 5,and John said how he only came back into his life when he was successful and famous 20 years later! He said when he came back into his life all those years later,he looked after his father for the same amount of time he looked after him,about 4 years. He also talked about how his beloved mother Julia,who encouraged his music by teaching him to play the banjo,got hit and killed by a car driven by an off duty drunk cop when John was only 17 and just getting to have a realtionship with her after she had given him away to be raised by her older sister Mimi when he was 5.

And John also said,And in spite of all that,I still don't have a hate-the-pigs attitude or hate-cops attitude. He then said, I think everybody's human you know,but it was very hard for me at that time,and I really had a chip on my shoulder,and it still comes out now and then,because it's a strange life to lead. He then said,But in general ah,I've got my own family now I got Yoko and she made up for all that pain.

John's psychologist Dr. He said John was a very dedicated patient. He also said that John left therapy too early though and that they opened him up,but didn't get a chance to put him back together again and Dr. Janov told John he need to finish the therapy,he said because of the immigration services and he thought Nixon was after him,he said we have to get out of the country.

John asked if he could send a therapist to Mexico with him,and Dr. Janov told him we can't do that because they had too many patients to take care of,and he said they cut the therapy off just as it started really,and we were just getting going. Also this great article by long time anti-sexist,anti-men's violence,anti-pornography former all star high school player Jackson Katz.

Also Cynthia Lennon is quoted in the great John Lennon biography Lennon,by award winning music journalist and former editor of The Melody Maker Magazine and good friend of John's for 18 years,Ray Coleman as saying somethings like she knew as soon as she saw John and Yoko together she knew that she lost him,and that it was a meeting of the minds and that she knew that they were right for each other.

She also said that she told John before he started his relationship with Yoko that she sees and incedible similarity between him and Yoko and said to him that there is something about her that is just like you. She told him that he may say that she's this crazy woman etc and that he's not interested in her,but that she can see more into John's future with Yoko then he can.

She is a biologist and geneticist at Brown Univetsity and she thoroughly debunks these claims about testosterone levels and aggressive behavior and a whole lot of other sexist,racist claims made by both women and men scientists. And she says how remarably similar women and men's brains and minds actually are.

Also there is a lot of evidence from sociologists and anthropologists that there are androgynous cultures. Many anthropologists like Walter Williams author of the award winning,The Spirit and The Flesh,and many other anthropologists have done field work for decades in places like Tahiti and Malaysia, women and men are encouraged to have androgynous roles there and they are not polarized into "opposite" categories and gender roles,and they are more alike in their personalities and behaviors.

And the men there unlike in our very gender divided,gender stereotyped, sexist male dominated society ,aren't punished for being similar to women or appearing so-called "feminine", they are encouraged and rewarded for it! February big study by psychology professors Harry Ress and Bobbi Carothers of University of Rochester also found the sexes are more alike than different in most areas and are NOT disctinct ''mars and ''Venus'' categories! Aug 23, PM. Radio interview with Iowa State University psychology professor Dr. Video interview with actress Jane Fonda about the harms of gender stereotypes and socialization of boys and men and evryone.

Feb 16, AM. Men are certainly from mars. What an irony?? Jul 28, AM. Jul 28, PM. Important information from October by neuroscientist Dr. Lise Elliott about how new large research shows the sexes brains are much more alike than different! Three major areas in the brain that were claimed for decades to be different were found to not be different using over 6, women and men. Add a reference: Book Author. Search for a book to add a reference. We take abuse seriously in our discussion boards. Only flag comments that clearly need our attention. Answer: A leak. Answer: A moostache!

Not rated yet Joke: What did the mouth say to the eyes when they weren't paying attention? Answer: Watch where you're going! How thin was he? He was so so thin that even a pencil weighed more than him. It is a food riddle. Not rated yet Riddle: Liliana has no fruit in her fridge.

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She has no food in her pantry. How many cucumbers does she have in her house? Answer: None. Answer: When he is a boxer! Not rated yet Joke: What did the sea say to the sand? Answer: Nothing, it just waved! Answer: To go see his chick!!!! Not rated yet Joke: How do you make time fly? Answer: You throw a clock out the window! Answer: Because he can crack the case! Olive who? Olive you! Not rated yet Joke: Why does it get hot after a baseball game? Answer: Because all the fans left.

Not rated yet Joke: What is the best way to listen to King Kong's roar? Answer: On an ape recorder! Answer: It gets into jalapeno business! Answer: We'll you better go catch it! Answer: Because it just waves! Why are you crying? Answer: Are u gonna go out tonight? Answer: A catfish. Answer: He goes to the ICU. Answer: He quacks up!!!! First star I see tonight. I wish I may,I wish I might, Oh, it's just a satellite. Answer: "I can't be"leaf" you chopped down my brother! Answer: When you do the math wrong.

Answer: Billy the Squid. Not rated yet Joke: Why did the hero flush the toilet? Answer: Because it was his duty! She lives in a circle house. She is looking for her rain boots. She is going around and asking who stole them. She asks the Cook, … Click here to write your own. Riddle For Kids - A classic worth repeating! Not rated yet Riddle: What building has the most stories? Answer: A Library. Answer: I don't know either but it is crawling out of that box of chocolates!

Answer: He in-salted him. Answer: He didn't he was too slow. Answer: You put a little boogie in it. Answer: You purrr-chase it!!!!! Answer: By Elephone! Answer: The ruler. Funny Joke! Not rated yet Joke: What is an aliens favorite drink? Answer: Starbucks. Not rated yet Joke: What do you say to a man named Bob who is way up in the sky? Answer: High Bob. Answer: He was afraid of being watched. Answer: He gave her flour.

Not rated yet Riddle: Somebody made something but didn't want it. Somebody bought it but didn't need it. The person who needed it,didn't know it. What is it? Answer: The orca-dontist. Answer: The same way, unique up on it. Who's There? Answer: A rino! Answer: Because they might get caught in the net. Not rated yet Joke: What do you get from a spoiled cow? Answer: Spoiled milk! Not rated yet Joke: What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Answer: Nothing it just let out a little wine!!!!

Answer: Because he was afraid of the mouse! Answer: A garbage truck! Answer: Swimming trunks! Answer: Nacho cheese!! Not rated yet Joke: Why did the donut go to the dentist? Answer: Because he needed a chocolate filling! Answer: Because he wanted to go to the hopping mall! Answer: The space bar! Answer: Never mind it's way over your head!

Answer: A library because it has the most stories. Answer: To get to the other slide! Answer: With an asteroid belt. Answer: Do these sesame seeds make my buns look big? Not rated yet Joke: What do you call a sleeping flower? Answer: Blue cheese. Answer: It's a Wonderful Laugh. Food Joke We were so poor Not rated yet We were so poor growing up that our family ate cornflakes with a fork to save milk.

Answer: Because he was not holding it above his head! Answer: "Sorry I'm shellfish! Cows go. Cows go who? Cows go moo, not who! Answer: Because he wanted to get his quarter back. Answer: Monkey farts. Dwayne the bathtub I'm drowning!!! Gorilla, who? Gorilla me a hamburger, I'm hungry! Answer: A baby panda with a diaper rash!! Answer: A teapot! Not rated yet Knock, Knock? Yeah, Who? Wow, you sure are excited!!

Answer: Don't look I'm changing! If I were to leave the country right now, Would you remember me in a minute? Yes Would you remember me in a day? The brunette. Answer: Because the salad was dressing! Answer: A hot air baboon. Silly food joke for kids! Not rated yet Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth?

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A: A gummy bear! Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom! Answer: He had NO Body to go with. A: In case he got a hole in one! Where does a fish put its money? A river-bank!! Answer: A spelling bee. What happens when you throw a yellow rock in a purple stream? Answer: It makes a splash. What is exactly in the middle of Paris? Not rated yet Riddle: What starts with an E and ends with an E and only has one letter in it?

Answer: Envelope. Answer: A seal!!!! Answer: A night mare!!! Not rated yet Joke: What witch goes to the beach? Answer: A Sand wich. Answer: Frostbite! Police who? Po-lice can I come in? Answer: In kinder-garden. Ivan who? Answer: Red paint. Each wife had 7 sacks. Each sac had 7 cats. Each cat had 7 kits. Answer: Out-laws are wanted! Not rated yet Joke: What did the shrimp say to it's Mom? Answer: I was too shellfish. Answer: Because he was looking for Pooh. Not rated yet Lily: reading the news "It says here that Eskimos eat whale meat and blubber! He did not take his umbrella, but when he was home, his hair was dry.

Answer: Just in case he made a hole-in-one! Answer: The letter R. Answer: An embarrassed zebra. The SWAT team! Answer: Two. Inside and Outside. Banana Banana who? Knock,Knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Orange you glad I came over?! Answer: To drive his teachers up the wall. Anita who? I need a bath! The lion turns to the cheetah and says, "Hey, you cheetah! Answer: Your name. Answer: … Plain silly joke for kids! Not rated yet Joke: What did the wall say to the other wall?

Answer: Meet you at the corner. Joke: What did the hand say to the toilet paper? Who who? Answer: Because he wanted a rocking horse. Answer: You go ahead and I'll ketchup! He has a horde of people behind him. He comes to a bridge. Answer: Because it does not come to us! A: To get to the other slide. It went down the road and turned into a field. A kids bug joke. Not rated yet How do you get rid of a bee? You tell it to buzz off. Really easy Because it was not "peeling" well!

Answer: A dead one! Answer: A first aid kit. What building has the most stories. Answer: Because he's always spotted! Silly Joke For Kids - What's black and white Not rated yet Joke: What's black and white and read all over? Joke: What's black and white and red all over? Answer: A skunk … Plain silly joke for kids! Not rated yet Joke: Why couldn't the pirate see the movie? Answer: Because it was rated arrrrr!

Who am I? Answer: Nowhere.

You don't bury survivors! Answer: Cuz I keep poking it. Answer: Cuz of the world wide web. Not rated yet Joke: What did the police man say to his stomach? Answer: You're under a vest!!!! Which building has the most stories? Not rated yet Riddle: Which building has the most stories? Answer: The library Answer: Because she had bright students Answer: A box of quackers. Answer: An Astro-nut. What can you open but can never close?

An egg! Answer: A policeman doing his duty. Answer: Because he was not peeling well. Answer: Because if they lived by the bay, they would be bagels! Answer: A river. Because it was next to McDonald's! A: A traffic jam! Yo who? Yo-yo, what up my peep? Answer: His moe-torcycle. Answer: He sleeps at night. Answer: Meet you at the corner! Answer: At launch time! Answer: To get to his granny smiths. Silly Joke! Not rated yet Q. What did the monster say to the screen? Answer: I'm going out for the night. Answer: Don't look I'm changing.

Answer: A human. What do you do? Answer: Stop … Kids animal joke. Not rated yet Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? Because there was no road!!! Don't cry it's, just a joke. Not rated yet Can you answer this? If one doctor doctors another doctor does the doctor who doctors the doctor, doctor the doctor the way the doctor he is doctoring … Plain silly! Not rated yet An English man, an Irish man, and a Scottish man went to the fun-fair and found a magic slide. Whatever you screamed whilst going down the slide, that … Kids animal joke.

Not rated yet Joke: What animal don't you play checkers with? One muffin said "It's hot in here! It's a talking muffin! Answer: It was stuck to the leg of a chicken!!! Joke: What gets bigger the more you take away? Answer: Because she would always run away from the ball. How many "s's" in that? A: none!!! Answer: Moon oply.

Answer: You can always roast beef but you can never pea soup!!!!!!! Answer: 6 Great Golfing Joke! Not rated yet Joke: What did the golfers wear for the game? Answer: Tee-shirts. A: Because he has big fingers! A: Son! You need to get ogre-nized! Because it was all out of juice!

A: Because she ran away from the ball. Any one can chop beef, but not everyone can pee soup. What did the flea say to the other flea? Shall we take a walk or take the dog. What was he called? A: Bob Knock Knock. Answer: Check your saus age. What do you call a horses hospital? Horespital Q. What do you call horses swimming in the sea? Seahorses Q. You'd roar too if you had crabs on your bottom! Answer: Fed Up Answer: "Don't look I'm changing! What does a Barbie eat? Answer: A pigloo.

A: A newspaper. Answer: Space Jam. Kids animal joke. Not rated yet Joke: What do you a call a bear with no teeth? Answer: A Gummie bear! The Funny Teacher. Not rated yet Did you hear about the teacher that graded tests so carefully that she flunked two kids for making their periods upside down? Because they forgot the words. Funny Riddle For Kids. Not rated yet How do you fix a broken pizza? With tomato paste! Because there were no fans. Answer: In his sleeves! Spell it. A lid! The doctor examined him and then asked, "Ben, what bothers you the most?.

A me-OW! A: A red car nation. You go on, I'll ketchup. A Because she wanted to rock and roll. A: Unique up on him. A: Close the door I'm dressing. What's black, white and RED all over? A newspaper Q. Answer: A walk! Answer: Cookieeees! Great Joke! Not rated yet Question: What has four wheels and flies?

Answer: To the sock hop! Just a plain silly joke.

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Not rated yet Joke: Did you hear about the corn who tried to beat up the spinach? Answer: It got creamed. Answer: Moo Zealand and Moo York! Answer: A zebra rash.