enter site We shall remember not the years we thought she had left, but the intensity with which she lived the years she had! I legit considered flying this across the country with me. It is not small. Seriously, I was thinking about forgoing gifts for my family, because honestly, all you need is Charlie. Yes, despite the big red lips and the false eyelashes that go on for miles, I am convinced that Charlie is a him and he is living his very best life dammit. Luckily for my family, when I went back to get him he was already gone.
I hope that wherever he is, he is being treated well and appreciated for all his glory. Prepare to have a framed picture of Charlie put under the tree, with a candle and flowers in an Ode-to-the-Christmas-that-almost-was. For me not being related to you, I mean. Yes, this happened. This time, I am genuinely sorry. This post deals with suicide grief and contains triggers. The words we have are inadequate, but we try anyway.
Following is a quote about being a survivor of suicide, and what that feels like. The last couple paragraphs speak to me. When I came across it at the time, it was a relief to know that others have felt this way. I have often described grief as a hot coal sitting heavily in the center of my chest, burning me alive from the inside out.
They are just a part of me. They just exist. I suppose I feel certain things, but not these. I think the most accurate way to describe it is that something was there and it no longer is. Someone, the one, has come and taken away all the vital parts. My best friend once told me about love. It burns too hot, uses up all the fuel and goes out. Lasting love is more like this ember. Yes, you have to maintain it but it will sustain you.
When you left, that ember morphed and took on a life of its own. Naked, vulnerable and wounded. I breathe heavy. I stand there not showing anything, no pain or hurt is detectable on my face. Wanting more than anything for you to be standing there, in front of me to witness. I hate being the girl you left behind. I had a link in here, but this draft has been in my folder for a long time and the original source can no longer be found, it was taken down by the hosting site.
It takes time, but we do heal in our way. These kind of emotional scars, you do carry them with you for a lifetime. You will always feel this loss, but instead of letting it go you sort of expand to make room for it. Here are some affirmations from Toronto illustrator Hana Shafi that are making me feel better. To see more of her work check out her Tumblr and Instagram. The hardest thing about living with the loss of a loved one to suicide is the seemingly never-ending guilt and anger.
I replay the moments that torture me on a loop — thinking if only I could have done more. Now I feel unloved by the government, which to be honest is kind of a regular problem. I felt like I had leveled up in life. The rental van — which was so big it was more like a bus — was way fancier than my little beater car and it had a bunch of buttons on the dash that I had never seen before. I die. I stagnate in a car so hot it would be illegal to leave a pet in it.
What does this button do? Like, I have to manually roll down the windows and stuff. Anyhow, back to the buttons in the van. I had to make a dish for a staff potluck, and one of my coworkers is vegetarian so I decided to look for something new to try. I call it The Instagram Illusion:. But I have a feeling that in order to achieve any sort of true change, and move forward, we have to — at least — speak out.
To speak up for the people around us. To speak up for what we believe to be good, and true, and kind. Now, but also before Charlottesville, from before Trump ever came along — although he seems to have fanned the flames.
Via The New Yorker. Via The Atlantic. Via GQ.
Instead, it was committed by people who have been living among us all along, quietly waiting for an opportunity that, at long last, has arrived. Hate has always existed in America.
Donald Trump just made it fashionable again. When fascism withered after World War II, antifa did too. After the Berlin Wall fell, neo-Nazism also gained prominence in Germany. In response, a cadre of young leftists, including many anarchists and punk fans, revived the tradition of street-level antifascism. Antifa activists do not celebrate regimes that committed genocide and enforced slavery. Anarchism may not be a particularly practical ideology. Taking down Confederate statues in places like Charlottesville would be a good start.
Via Teen Vogue. So pretty. All the best things are. Foghorn J. Leghorn — from Looney Tunes, obviously. The greatest show from my childhood.
This means that the Goth Chicken is totally black — from feathers to bones. Ermergerd look how cute that baby chick is… source. Cause hemoglobin and shit. How cool is that? I totally want one. I can keep a chicken in my apartment, right?
This Side of Normal book. Read 3 reviews from the world's largest community for readers. Ed Devlin has problems. His parents haven't gotten along since E. This Side Of Normal book. Read 7 reviews from the world's largest community for readers. Ed Devlin has problems. His parents haven't gotten along since E.
Plus, in a zombie apocalypse you could eat him. Nutritious and delicious, tastes just like chicken. Anyway, I think they must be spiking the water or something. Is that still a cool drug? Would make for a super interesting Saturday. That way we can all chase the dragons in the kitchen. Back to Hillsburn. Ed's life is going to get a whole lot worse before it gets any better. Just like all the other problems, this one is beyond his control. It will overwhelm him and force him to find a way through. Force him to become someone new. Get A Copy. Kindle Edition , pages. More Details Friend Reviews.
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This book is not yet featured on Listopia. Community Reviews. Showing Rating details. More filters. Sort order. May 17, Alejandra rated it it was amazing Shelves: owned , growing-pains. It's a light read. But it carries a heavy punch.
I think parents and friends as well as every adolescent with type 1 diabetes or any other chronic disease should read this book. It portrays the changes the pain and the doubt that come from a diagnosis and from getting used to your new condition. And it portrays this well. Jun 11, Lauren Szczepaniak rated it it was amazing. I love this book! It definitely gives the reader the idea that friends can change when you're going through hard times. I am referring to the fact that Sid used to be Ed's best friend and once Sid found out that Ed had diabetes he totally changed into a different friend and person.
It was like Ed was a stranger to him and that is not an example of a great friend. I really connected to this book for many reasons because I'm in a wheelchair and throughout the years with all of the hard times I ha I love this book! I really connected to this book for many reasons because I'm in a wheelchair and throughout the years with all of the hard times I have been though my friends definitely have changed. There are only a few people who you can and really know will always be there for you. For example, when Ed became friends with Mark,even though Mark was a new friend he was always there for Ed no matter what.
My idea and perspective of Ed and how he dealt with diabetes changed drastically when for more than one time he made the decision to drink alcohol with Mark when his parents weren't home. This was a bad decision made by him, but it gives the reader the fact of the matter that especially when you go through hard times sometimes you get so depressed that you give up and make bad decisions and that is what happens for some people unfortunately. At this point Mark was trying to help Ed feel better about himself and get the fact that he had diabetes off of his mind.
Little did Mark know that he was hurting Ed by doing this. Another part that I liked about this book is that in the beginning Ed's dad didn't really hang out with Ed and wasn't a great father to him. At the end he had surprised Ed with not being violently mad at Sid and causing their friendship to move farther apart, but did the right thing in the end and brought the three boys together again as friends. This shows the reader that during rough times people, even friends and family can change in a good way too. I got from the book that maybe the rough time benefited them in a certain way to change them for the better and learn about how great their life actually is if it is the person going through the rough time or the person right alongside them.
May 29, Janet rated it it was amazing. Great book for teens as well as adults. This book can help friends and parents of a PWD person with diabetes to understand what it's like to be a diabetic. As the parent of a PWD, I only know what that's like. I never knew, until reading this, what it feels like to be the one with diabetes.
I'll never know, exactly, what it's like. But, the story h Great book for teens as well as adults.