The Stephanies

A Case of the Stephanies
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Podcast smart and easy with the app that refuses to compromise. Play Later. Manage episode series Discovered by Player FM and our community — copyright is owned by the publisher, not Player FM, and audio streamed directly from their servers. The wedding is in a couple of days and there's so much to do! We are back from our hiatus with a lot to talk about. Ok, I gotta get back to work, juts listen you nerds! Head on down to whatkindofday. Follow us! How about the subject matter? Not really.

The quality? And yet through all that, we have some incredible fans that have stuck with us, and this episode is a salute We cover Dir As campaign byedenise gets off the ground, we cover everything from Katie Holmes impressions, to chat pace, skin-isodes, what ownership really means, and most importantly, how to be thirty, flirty and thriving. Head down to whatkindofday.

This week Denise and Nick are joined by a special guest host: Jake Cornell! Jake had an eventfully if literarily bereft childhood and is a better man for it.

Tell us about your time at Stephanie’s

His sinuses, are another story. This episode you are treated to a star-studded cast of hosts and special guests Then the core group gets nostalgic about what it means to make 10 podcast episodes in a row, a nearly impossible feat. We talk about fan opinions on each of the three hosts, our amazing fans in general shout-out to Abir D. Oh my, a description of this episode. THIS one?

You must be kidding. Annnnyyyyyway, are we flooded with intern applications? This becomes a bit of a mean-isode, but fun. Season 2 so far is very good, right? Our hosts ask some Qs, give you some As, dive into astrology and have a contest to find out who will run EA DD proves she be so horri This episode we start with some intense hair talk, some passionate soup talk, and unfortunately we cover what happens when they meet. Join Mr. Genuine, Rude Dude and the Wildcard as they talk life in ! Midriffs and engagement ceremonies, color schemes and lying, visual jokes and aviatrix dominatrix.

Ya know, stuff. Your favorite hosts start off with some resolutions and frankly, an unREAL amount of positivity. Episode 1, hot, fresh and smelling hauntingly of cinnamon. In this episode, we ret-con, reconnect, and reset. After a year hiatus your favorite hosts, EA, Denise and Nick, return to talk about what we missed, the holiday season and our esteemed benefactor George Noros. At one point they laugh so hard they accidentally stop recordi Important question of the episode: Is being a good Chief of Staff more important than b In this episode your humble hosts are out of the basement and into the Sit Room.

They talk about the occasionally troubling misogyny of The West Wing when analyzing "A Proportional Response", Episode 3 of the first season. Sam Seaborn makes the set dec department's life hell and he's s Episode 2, your hosts made it! They talk about how Sam Seaborn spends the episode trying to explain how someone can accidentally sleep with a prostitute while we continue to wonder The characters are introduced and we have our first walk-and-talk, but p Welcome to Player FM What if radio played only the shows you care about, when you want?

Take it with you. Proud because had you been the Stephanie charged with those tasks, way back when, you would have designed them in a similar fashion. You might, however, be called upon to make a repair from time to time. To troubleshoot. To help install the new domiciles and equipment we take off the ships. The streets are a series of concentric circles intersected by two long diagonals.

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Rarely is a street the shortest distance between two points. The streets, essentially, are there to slow you down. The domiciles themselves are very simple constructions, very efficient, very spare, very Dwell -magazine, true to our spiritual principles of nonattachment and so forth. The coffee table that doubles as storage container.

Sophisticated comfort food in the heart of Back Bay

Creating a digital version is even easier. Fantastic treatments and service. Kunin set his jaw like no other Aaron, using a voice that sounded like T. And if this man, this lookalike, if he goes missing? The stickers are vinyl type like Hobiuary and their sizing are 2. By the early hours of Tuesday the 17th, I was beginning to doubt that decision.

The domiciles are all essentially the same, though small alterations are permitted. Some people prefer curtains, for instance. Some people paint the walls. The two primary colors available in quantities large enough to paint an entire wall: blue and red. The red paint is made from the extract of a certain plant that is toxic if ingested.

The blue is made from ground-up bugs, no joke. Very tiny and delicate hummingbirds. So delicate you could squash them between your fingers. Be honest: Knowing that these creatures more closely resemble birds than insects, are you less inclined to use the blue paint? If you go and watch the paint-makers pulverizing these tiny hummingbirds into a blue paste, you may forever look differently at anyone with large blue walls in their domiciles. Hummingbugs, we call them, and there is some solace to be found in the fact that they are so numerous.

They repopulate quickly and are known to travel in giant cloud-like swarms. The swarms are very dangerous, actually. Avoid them, especially when sweaty, as the sweat attracts them. About the Garys we have much to say! Many Stephanies have married Garys, and while their love is not typically a passionate one, the Garys make steadfast and loyal partners. You will have to be very direct and clear about what it is you want from him when nubbing. He will need directions. Irk you to such a degree that you will have to give him further instructions, new ones which may or may not contradict the earlier ones.

Such contradictions will thoroughly confuse a Gary. At this point in the conversation, he may become despondent and begin to doubt his abilities to please you sexually. A downward spiral. He will avoid you for a few days. He will sulk. But from a Gary you can expect this—you can expect a life of devotion and mutual respect. A true marriage of equals. Garys are dependable and patient fathers, though they have a hard time relating to smaller children. Kids younger than, say, four years old hardly register with Garys. Also, Garys tend to pack on the pounds as they age.

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Some become quite heavy. Even obese. What of those Garys? You will feel love for the children of all Stephanies. There are ten days in our week, by the way.

The Five Aarons Reading

The days are referred to numerically, and we worship on the first and sixth days. You will be expected to attend worship on a regular basis. People look up to you here. They revere you, actually. So act accordingly. Every so often a debate will erupt as to whether we should return to a seven-day calendar, but do the seven days of creation apply here as they do on Earth?

A difficult question. God created this place, surely, but by which calendar? There is much to say about the tiny elephant-mice which defecate nightly on our porches, but for now I will say only this: Sweep your porch every night before bed because even the smallest scraps of food will attract these creatures and once attracted they will never ever go away again.

You could take up gardening. Large farms ring the settlement, and food is plentiful, but starting your own garden is encouraged for mental health. You can finally take up painting, by the way. You can be a painter, your mother be damned! Your skills as an engineer, though they qualified and recommended you for this mission, are no longer in much demand, those problems having largely been solved. Every year the same ship arrives with the same people on board—but why? We have our theories. Inadvertent passage through a wormhole or black hole or some other as yet undiscovered type of cosmic hole.

A rip or ripple in the space-time continuum.

Stephanie’s Letter – Proclaim the Truth

A planet with contra-temporal tendencies, like a clock running backward inside a larger one. The various explanations are numerous and ultimately unhelpful because the fact is, year after year, the ship continues to arrive, and year after year, the same ten passengers continue to disembark.

It is a fact of life for people here, not at all miraculous for its predictability. Roughly fifteen Stephanie Blocks. Fifteen Gary Wizzes. Fifteen Kevin Hsus. Fifteen Amy Dalrymples.

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Fifteen Monica Dornes. Lucy was admittedly a lovely woman back on Earth, a very capable and considerate doctor, the sort of doctor who warms her stethoscope with her breath before pressing it to your chest, but this planet changes her. Or rather, reveals her. Historically, Lucys always become a big problem.

They connive. They dissemble. They are not team players. Even when informed of their own propensities and tendencies—toward violence, insurrection, and so forth—they are incapable of altering their personalities. Lucy the Terrible, the most infamous Lucy of all, once led a great rebellion in which thousands of innocent people died.

Gives the entire history of that saga. Watching other Stephanies you will notice certain things. The gently sloped shoulders. The pear-bottomed ass, particularly in the heavier Stephanies. You will notice certain unattractive behaviors, too. How pouty you can be, how moody. How much of a pushover. But you are kind, Stephanie. You are beautiful, in your way. You have much to offer. You have a sharp mind. A big heart. Stephanies falling in love with each other is discouraged, for perhaps obvious reasons, but it happens. If you do take up with another Stephanie, be discreet about it.

The sight of two Stephanies kissing in public would be sure to cause a stir. No use in trying to sugarcoat it: Lucys are killed in their freeze-boxes as soon as the ship lands each year. But she does have her descendants among the locals. She lives on, genetically.

About fifteen Stephanies at any given moment. Fifteen Prishas. Fifteen Sams. Fifteen Kevins. Now, Michaels are an interesting case. True alphas. Individually they are natural and capable leaders—confident, self-assured, even-keeled—but put them in a room together and conflict is inevitable. They will squabble and fight. They will scream and yell. At some point in our history, the settlement was governed by a Council of Michaels but eventually the Council became grid-locked with dysfunction, and so the Prishas seized control, temporarily, and instituted a new form of governance.

King Michael for a Year, the policy is called. Upon landing, each new Michael is given complete control of the settlement. He lives in opulence, exempt even from the rules of the church. Sort of like a dispensation. He can nub whomever he pleases. He is waited upon by servants. A true life of luxury. The only catch is that when the next ship lands with a new Michael, the old one is chained and dropped into the sea.

You can go visit the Michael graveyard. In fact, such visits are encouraged. It was painted by a famous Stephanie, in fact. Stephanie the Arch-Eyed. For the locals, our descendants, the ones who were born here and who have never known anything else, the painting is a panoply of dreams, surreal and strange.

Paint ten thousand Stephanies posed in chairs, their exposed hearts connected by thin red vessels—small interconnecting threads, highways of blood. For the people born here, there is no such thing as art history. Or rather you, being the first artist on the planet, are its history.

Your paintings can reference nothing but themselves. Your artworks, therefore, cannot be derivative. There are other artists, of course, but more often than not the locals who paint are in helpless dialogue with your work. Your work is the standard against which all new art will forever be judged. You can never be avant-garde, it probably goes without saying. No matter how wild, how unusual, how unlike you, each new painting will be standardized and subsumed. The locals, though they revere us, are not afraid to write long, mostly well-reasoned essays about why a particular artwork of yours has failed to be beautiful or to inspire or to illuminate what it means to be human.

There is a range of behavior—a range of thought, even—of which a Stephanie is capable. To try and deviate from this range—to consciously engage in some very un-Stephanie-like behavior—only widens the range. The graph of Stephanie. His murder-mysteries all follow the same basic pattern. As for his attempts at recreating popular novels from Earth, you have to give him credit for trying but most of these efforts fall short.

Kevins are very self-serious and narrow-minded. They mostly keep to themselves. You will wonder what it means that certain Stephanies manage to lead such remarkable lives, while others. Stephanie the Blind is an important figure in the church. When Lucy the Terrible led her great rebellion, it was Stephanie the Blind who put a stop to the killing when she called a meeting between the factions and stubbed out both her eyes with hot coals. She quoted scripture. Not exactly, not strictly speaking. Jesus figures into it, but so do we, the ten passengers who arrive each year without fail.

You will understand this calibration, of course. We are a mystery, are we not? And what we do not understand, what cannot be understood, we must ascribe to God or else. Or else fall into a state of confounded hopelessness and despair. Stephanie the Stephanie is someone else you might hear about, as she was somewhat controversial for going about the land and preaching a doctrine of reincarnation. You can imagine the can of worms this opened, the idea of reincarnation, the idea that one Stephanie could return as another.

That is to say, we are aspects of the same ur-Stephanie. An ultimate and underlying Stephanie which abides in each of us. When we gather together, you will wonder if this might be true, such is the bond we share, such is the understanding that exists among us. You will miss Earth, obviously.

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You will miss menthol cigarettes. You will miss lavender-scented detergents. Try to describe fast food to them. Or traffic lights. Or voicemails. The stock market. Action items. The light in their eyes will go dim. They will change the subject.


Probably best to give up on the idea of originality. Of leading an unusual life. Of taking the path never taken. Nothing new under the sun and so forth. Except, maybe try not to fall for a Sam. You have chemistry, to be sure, but not once have things ever worked out well for a Stephanie and a Sam. Once a cheater, always a cheater, as they say. You are, for now, the youngest Stephanie. Only thirty-two Earth-years. That may not seem young to you now, but it is.

Take advantage! As you age you may begin to resent the younger Stephanies. Their bodies, their youth, the time they have left. You may be tempted to live vicariously through them. You will want them to succeed. The ship will land, as it does, and seeing this new inductee, you may roll your eyes and think, Here we go again. Will you move on quickly or will you linger to watch? Will you feel jealousy or shame or lust or what?

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Oh Stephanie, this is not at all what you expected. You're confused. All of us are, thoroughly. You've landed on a new planet and lo and behold. THE STEPHANIES(ステファニーズ). SubscribeSubscribedUnsubscribe Loading Loading Working Home. Videos · Playlists · Channels · Discussion .

Will you, quite suddenly, feel your age? About STDs, you need not worry too much. All passengers were tested, as you know, prior to departure, which rules out a lot. You could learn the new constellations—or not. Up to you. This man will slump about with his hands in his pockets. He will shrug a lot and have a shrill though endearing laugh. How is this possible? Or the hairline. The ears will be a little bigger or farther back on the head. Still—and this will be difficult for you to process—some part of your Papa, through you, has survived.

A stowaway in your DNA. You have delivered him to this new world. Set him loose upon it. You will consider, briefly, telling this man off. Giving him a shove in the chest. You may very well wind up following this lookalike around the settlement for a couple of days. You may watch him from a safe distance as he lives his life. If the children are nearly grown and he has not abandoned them, you will wonder what that means, but probably that will be the end of it and you will leave him be. However, if he spends his nights out of the house, drinking with his friends, if he comes home and pisses against the living room wall and passes out on the sofa, you might be tempted to involve yourself.

While he is away one afternoon, you might stop by for a little chat with the wife. You will have the urge to protect the children, at all costs. You might even become a kind of surrogate aunt to these children. A godmother, maybe. And if this man, this lookalike, if he goes missing? If he falls down a hole one night on his way home? And delicious, too. You have to shuck off all the hair, but the meat is very succulent. A Gary will tell you that mushroom thingies are actually part of one great big thingy, a super-organism, connected by underground microscopic tendrils.

According to Gary, we should not be eating these thingies, since they may be sentient, but they really are so delicious. A secret hope: That one year a ship will, for whatever reason, fail to appear. That on that sacred day, the day of its annual arrival, the sky will stay empty, the ship will not break through the clouds and whoosh down, blasting up those thick clouds of brown dust, whipping the trees violently, gushing exhaust and heat. You can imagine the confusion this would create, its sudden absence, that pleasing breakdown in the natural order.

A pointless dream, of course, because so long as there is a planet upon which to land, the ship will do so, plopping down indelicately, with a heaving crunch, its mouth sliding open dryly.